In this age and time of hectic work, difficult relationships and unstable faith in God, it is so easy to get stressed out and mad without forgetting Mr. Depression who’s always ready to kill you at any time.
Being mindful of what’s going on around you is key to being aware of what you can handle or what goes beyond that. Sometimes all that it requires is to open some doors and close others in the way you live and interact with other people.
Setting boundaries is a crucial component of self-care. These are lines you draw between you and other people. It’s a clear place where you begin and the other person ends. Boundaries are there to make sure you are mentally and emotionally stable. Sometimes we set them unconsciously other times we do after realizing that people are overstepping. They define who were and distinguish us from other people. They indicate what we get our hands on and what we can’t.
When people go beyond our boundaries we get stressed and angry and sometimes this forces us to make decisions like quitting your job or leaving your partner. Some of these oversteps may include standing too close; looking through your personal files or phone without permission; sacrificing your own needs to please others… the list goes on depending on you.
How to set boundaries
- Identify what the boundary is. Ask yourself questions like what do I need to limit? What do you feel like you don’t want to do? What can you do about it?
- Tell others what you need and what you don’t want to get involved in. Let them be aware of your boundaries.
- Don’t complicate things. Simply say no and don’t feel guilty about it for you to go on with explanations.
Examples of boundaries you can set
*Say no to what you do not want. Whether it’s someone asking for help or a friend borrowing money, if you don’t want to, simply say no.
*Protect your time. If at work you’re supposed to leave at 5pm then make sure what you have to do is done in due time. Don’t overwork. And if you have an appointment with a friend or anyone, respect the time you had agreed upon. Don’t entertain that saying of Africans being always late.
*Ask for space where you can private and free to think. It can be a time alone or whole room for just you. If this is what makes you comfortable and progressive, request for it.
*Speak up if you feel uncomfortable in a situation or relationship. Let the other party know how you feel about what’s happening.
Those are some of the boundaries. Do you have any? Please share with me in the comments.